Worried?
So 2018 is now over and time to move onwards towards 2019! But not so quickly…I want to take some time to reminisce, to reflect on all that has transpired this past year!
In our household, 2018 has certainly shown itself to be a year filled with changes and challenges. What exactly do I mean? Well lets start at the beginning!
Mother-in-law moved in with us for an undetermined period of time and needed care and support, my youngest daughter got married – destination wedding of course! We helped her buy a car and transition her to another state for a yearlong internship. My oldest daughter and her husband sold and bought a house that we helped pack and unpack, and oh…she is now expecting her third child. My husband officially retired and together we sold our second property, bought a new car, started volunteering in a new capacity at our church, host an average of 2-4 prayer and Bible study groups in our home, and finally, I accepted some additional responsibilities in a graduate program where I teach…even though I’m technically retired…phew! It may not appear quite as overwhelming reading mere words in a blog, but I can assure you, it has been. You might say, “This all sounds good – marriage, baby, new car, new house, retirement…” I would respond and say “Absolutely! God has been faithful to us, and by His power and wisdom, we have been able to navigate through all of these life transitions.”
But wait…
For the first time, in a long time, I found myself worrying, not just situationally, or momentarily, but constantly. It was as though my being was gripped by fear when I awoke and when I went to sleep. So many thoughts and imaginations about my family raced though my mind – concerns about their travels, their safety, their financial needs, their marital relationships, their welfare, and well…the list goes on. I was consumed with worry in a way that I don’t think I’ve ever experienced. I could honestly say, that it felt like an adversarial attack – not something that I often say. With everything that’s going on around us, it is so easy to be overcome with worry and to allow our imaginations to get the best of us.
Here are some definitions of “worry.”
Give way to anxiety or unease; allow one’s mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles.
Encyclopedia.com
Refers to the thoughts, images, and emotions of a negative nature in a repetitive, uncontrollable manner that results from a proactive cognitive risk analysis made to avoid or solve anticipated potential threats and their potential consequences. Wikipedia
A sense of uneasiness and anxiety about the future. Scripture indicates that such anxiety is ultimately grounded in a lack of trust in God and His purposes. Dictionary of Bible Themes
I could relate to all of these! I was now a part of the America that is in the midst of a rising anxiety epidemic. According to a May, 2018 Science Alert article written by Peter Dockrill, “New survey results show Americans’ anxiety levels experienced a sharp increase in the past year, with almost 40 percent of respondents saying they felt more anxious than they did a year ago.”
An American Psychiatric Association (APA) 2017 Opinion Poll indicated that the top three areas Americans ranked as feeling extremely or somewhat anxious were:
Keeping myself or my family safe
My health
Paying my bills or my expenses
Now as someone who practices talking to God and reading the Bible regularly, I could easily quote Scriptures on worry and anxiety.
Scriptures like:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)
or
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27).
And then my life verse…
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Although I knew these Scriptures in my head, they weren’t making their way to my heart. I just couldn’t get any peace. I finally said to God, “I know what your Word says. I have been praying and I just can’t seem to get relief from this unprecedented worry. I need to hear something directly from your lips to my spirit Lord that is going to breakthrough my current disposition.” And then it happened!
Can’t wait to share what happened next!